


Altered Reality

by Hemosnixuality



Category: Cyberpunk 2077 (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Drama, Drama & Romance, F/F, Romance, Streetkid V
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:34:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28334724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hemosnixuality/pseuds/Hemosnixuality
Summary: V had possibly bit off more than she could chew when she agreed to move in with Judy after their night together. Swept up in the moment, she embraced the gesture, but after the moment passed, she was left with the reality of what that all meant. She had just agreed to move in with a woman she hardly knew and the word "panic" became an understatement.
Relationships: Johnny Silverhand & Female V, Judy Alvarez/Female V, Judy Alvarez/V
Comments: 10
Kudos: 95





	Altered Reality

**Author's Note:**

> Hello all!
> 
> This story will be set post lake conversation, but prior to the game's finale. There will blend a mix of canon and my own personal twist to just how V would handle the "move in" once the dust settled and what that could look like for the both of them in the long run. I'll be writing as I play along the story myself so you'll see missions that are in the game and some that are just from me (as there is not nearly enough Judy in the game post romance).
> 
> If you haven't read anything from me before, I _adore_ angst so it will get dicey, but there always will be a happy ending (as I'm not that cruel). 
> 
> All in all, I hope you enjoy and I look forward to your comments 😊.

What in the _fuck_ just happened?

One moment she was having the night of her life and, by morning, it spiraled into her agreeing to a move into Judy's apartment.

What. The. _Fuck_.

"What in the fuck were you thinking?" V scolds herself out loud now that she's made her way down the dirt path from the dock.

This was, by far, the most rash decision she's made lately and there have been a _lot_ of questionable calls these past couple weeks (and that's really saying something).

She had agreed to break into Arasaka's super high tech/high security warehouse base so she can hijack the parade for Goro so he can speak to Hanako _and_ she's agreed to work with the queen of all fixers, Rogue, to help her find Anders. Which, of course, meant she had to do her a _massive_ favor and work with some woman... Panama? Panam? Didn't matter. She was to work with the Nomad to settle her major fuck up of a convoy before she paid off the intel Rogue had given her. But this... _this_ took the cake on fucking crazy.

"One night with her, ONE! Now you're packing up your shit and hauling it?! What the hell, man?" V's volume increasing as the panic of what she just agreed to set in. "Shit..."

"She's got you by the dick now." Johnny chimes in, his timing as _perfect_ as always.

"Shut the fuck up." V snaps, not missing a beat. "I do not even want to hear it."

"Well that's too fucking bad because if I have to be there, I have every right to comment."

"You _shouldn't_ be there, that's the fucking problem."

"Is it though?" Johnny says in a tone that casts a heavy does of skepticism. "Is that really the problem you're having right now?"

"I'm talking to you like I'm fucking insane, so yeah, I'd say that's a pretty big fucking problem."

"Yeah, you're a shit liar and you're deflecting. Why don't you man up and admit what your deal is?"

"It isn't any of your damn business."

"V, cut the shit."

This man was fucking _infuriating_ at the best of times, but now? She was considering a lobotomy just to shut him up. 

"I told you not to go on that dive and you didn't listen." Johnny comments, reminding her of their prior nights conversation. "I _warned_ you and you still did it anyway."

"It was just a swim!" V defends. "How could I have known that I'd pass out like that?"

"Didn't know "passing out" was slang for her head between your legs."

The crassness to his words stop her cold, her feet coming to a dead halt before she whips her head to give him a glare from hell. "You need to back the fuck up. Right now."

"Touchy, touchy." He holds his hands up in a mock surrender. "You women are so fucking sensitive."

"Like porcelain." V snarks. "Just like your male egos."

"At least _I_ didn't move in with someone I just met, like an idiot."

_Touché._

As much as it pained her to admit he was right... Johnny _did_ have a point. She had done everything he said and it still hadn't all registered. If _only_ she could blame the... _questionable_ decision this morning on last night. To say she acted as she did because her relic was acting up and not making her think straight, but she couldn't. She was as sober as ever and acutely alert to what was going on, no scapegoat in sight. Her answers were her own and, even though there was some _definite_ shock, she still gut reacted and made the decision. 

This was on her for however this was going to play out.

"You can always take it back." Johnny says coolly as he leans against the concrete barricade. "She'll get over it eventually."

"You've clearly _never_ been with a woman for more than a day if that's the advice you're going to offer me."

"Johnny Silverhand? Long term? You must be high." He chuckles like she had just told the best joke. "I don't do love and all that shit. It is a waste of time. I get what I want and I get out."

Without missing a beat, V opts to call him on his hypocrisy. "You didn't with Alt." 

"That's not the same." He defends. "Alt wasn't asking me to move in the next day after we fucked. All she wanted was to see me occasionally for a good time and I was happy to oblige. It was nothing more than that."

"I didn't realize how disillusioned you were until now because that's _not_ how I saw that memory, not at all."

"Quit changing the subject here." Johnny perks up and pushes himself back to standing, his arms crossed in defiance. "We're talking about _your_ issues here, not mine."

"Well _excuse_ me for not wanting any advice from someone who doesn't have his own shit together."

This was pointless right now as she wasn't even sure what she wanted so what was the use in arguing? Johnny was trying in his own way, but it didn't mean she wanted his opinions. Kind of hard when they're inhabiting the same mind, but she still had enough of herself left that she could try to tune him out.

She felt exhausted. It was like her mind completely glossed over the fact that she had _just_ woke up and, instead, said "fuck you" to her entire rest of the day.

With her palm pressed hard against her forehead, she pleas with Johnny for a moment of serenity. "I just want to get out of here so please just fuck off back into whatever part of my head you live in and let me have this ride to myself."

She looks towards where he was standing for an answer, but he was gone, disappearing as fast as he arrived. Made her wonder if he could do that on purpose or if it was just incredible coincidence.

"Thank you." She utters to no one, the hum of the morning being the only sound she hears.

Even from this far away, Night City always found its way to seep into anything seen or heard. It had a magical quality about it, but not like one of those fancy magicians, just one that's budget and probably drunk off their ass. Full and vibrant with life, that is, so long as you're willing to play by the rules. For everyone else, it was a hellscape.

She'd never forget growing up on the streets, those kinds of life lessons taught her the realities of the _real_ world that faced her. Nothing was ever given. It was earned or taken by force, there was no in between. She didn't get to where she was by playing it safe and following the corpo rules. She took life on the edge and ran like hell and you either got out of her way or you got stepped on. There was no middle ground. Ever. She was born here and she'd probably die here, it was just the cycle of life. 

Let's just hope that death doesn't come anytime soon.

"Right." V says in affirmation. "Need my bike." A quick internal process and the request was submitted, a confirmation of thirty seconds before its arrival.

V finds herself staring off into the skyline, her eyes roaming over everything it has to offer before the revving of an engine comes into earshot.

"Still don't know how it can be that fast, but hey, I'll take it." She comments as her bike comes to an automatic halt in her proximity, allowing her to settle down into it.

"Let's get out of here."

A rev of the throttle and she takes off, not even sparing a glimpse of what she was leaving behind. 

The ride back to the city was just what she needed. It was just the wind through her hair and the breeze caressing her skin as she weaved through the traffic with practiced precision. The noise around her was loud but not overpowering, a sign she was where she needed to be. All that was left to do was to figure out what the hell she was going to do for the rest of her day.

There wasn't anything she _had_ to do urgently as Goro needed some time to work on whatever it was he did and the convoy she would be stealing with Panam (she remembered now, that had to be her name) wasn't due for another couple days. For once, she actually could have some time to herself which was the worst possible thing. She knew how to deal with busy, it kept her mind working, but having nothing lined up only left her to overthink and get in her head. At the same time though, she was far too distracted to get any real work done so it would probably be best for her to go home and rest.

The shift to head home, her home, wasn't hard and it wasn't far. Maybe five minutes? Three if she could catch the lights, but that fizzled out as she got stopped behind the first light she saw. 

_This would be how this went._

She takes the five (and then some due to an accident) before she parks in the garage, dragging ass towards the elevator up. Too many faces she knew that would want to speak with her so she tried to blend as best as she could. Thankfully, everyone was caught up with their own business to pay her any mind.

Her walk was a short one from the elevator and, once inside, she locks the door to block out the world. Her first move was to head right for the shower, clothes on and everything. She felt dirty from the water she and Judy had scuba dived in before her... _incident_. She was beginning to smell and it wasn't of roses. She hadn't noticed it before, nor did she notice it on Judy, but she had several _very_ good distractions to keep her from it. If Judy noticed, she didn't say anything and her actions spoke to the contrary of unpleasant so it was safe to say what they were doing overpowered any other senses (except touch, obviously).

_Judy._

Even thinking her name sent a chill down her spine, causing her to shiver in the near scalding water. Allowing herself to finally disrobe, she could still feel every touch they shared as she gently caressed her fingertips over the spots marked on her skin. Judy had been _very_ thorough so the sensation warmed almost her whole body. If she wasn't careful, she'd get worked up again and have to take care of it herself (and that was never as fun). It was crazy stupid for her to feel like this because nothing good could ever come out of it. Sure, they like each other now, but who knows how they'll feel in a week? A month? Who knows.

The only constants in life were time and change and time had the chokehold on. Nothing was ever a guarantee and that meant that everything she started was destined to end, one way or another. What if they found they didn't like each other? What would happen if she felt suffocated? Would it even be worth starting something like this knowing she was going to die? Would she want to leave Judy with all that?

What a mess she'd gotten herself into. 

Turning off the shower, V grabs a towel and does a quick dry, uncaring of the small puddles that formed as she walked into the living area. 

_God do I want a fucking nap._

V looks between her bed and her wardrobe, the sheets luring her in with a siren song, but the urge to not have this nap be a "pussy out" goods show for Johnny was stronger. With the quick detour completed, V tosses herself onto her bed and situates herself on the pillows. She's had a bad habit of just ignoring eighty percent of her bed (which was so stupid), but she would work to put a little more effort in not contorting her limbs like she was being smuggled in a suitcase. There was perfectly good real estate here and it was foolish for her to ignore it.

Settling down and staring at her ceiling, V checks out of reality and gets lost within her own mind. 

She allowed it to wander where, but the first thing that came to mind was just how she really wanted to talk to someone. It had to be someone she trusted, someone loyal and reliable, but a chilling realization stuck her as she coasted down the road. 

She didn't have _anyone_ anymore.

She wasn't good at friendships, but Jackie was an exception as he pushed his way in and it was some of the best times she's ever had. He was the only one she'd call to just talk to and it was times like this where she really felt his void. His stupid hair, his stupid grin, his cockiness at any situation... she just missed him. He didn't deserve to go out like that and she was helpless to stop it. What good is all this tech and these mods if they can't even keep you alive? It is a bitter pill, but one she's forced to swallow.

She couldn't even really be mad at whose fault it was either because Evelyn was just as fucked up as she was, worse even. It was the blind leading the blind and it had a one hundred percent mortality rate because she was soon destined to be snuffed out of existence. There was rarely a moment in life that she regretted, but accepting that gig was at the top of the list. T-bug would still be here, being the best damn Netrunner in the game. Jackie would still be here, causing absolute hell and chaos but he was always a good time. Evelyn would still be here and she wouldn't have gotten so caught up with the Clouds that it spiraled her into a dark place. Fuck, even _Dexter DeShawn_ would still be alive and being a Grade A piece of shit. Not that she cared about him now though, it was just the principle of it all. Arasaka wouldn't be on her ass and she would be blissfully ignorant to literally anything that had to do with Yorinobu or Saburo.

Everything centered around that  
_one_ moment and it would always haunt her.

The only bright side to the literal shit show that has ensued was Judy. If it wasn't for all of this, their paths would never have crossed and whatever they had between them would have ceased to exist. It was an extremely thin positive considering the carnage, but she couldn't find herself as upset as she should've been. Judy came out of nowhere and enchanted her with her wit and her talent. Judy knew her shit and she let you know it, the fucking sexiest of power moves. It _also_ didn't hurt that she was hot as fuck, a pure stunner. She'd be hard pressed to forget her body and what it could do, a real beauty in this ugly world. Judy was an enigma and there was nothing she liked better than a puzzle. 

At first, she didn't think anything of their interactions because of how focused she was with Evelyn, but when Judy called her for help, that's when it all changed. They were nothing more than strangers, mild acquaintances at most, but here Judy was asking for _her_ help. Sure, they had similar interests so it lined up well, but there was more to it that she didn't understand until now. Locating Evelyn had still been her priority, but she found herself wanting to know more about the BD landscape and the woman behind the masterpieces. 

Their conversations started to stray from only necessary and professional to waters a bit deeper than what an acquaintance gets access to. Judy shared more about herself while V followed suit and entrusted Judy with the Relic and Johnny. It was crazy how much she felt connected to Judy in such a short time, it was unlike anything she had ever felt before. Judy had allowed her to see her so low, so broken, without any reservations. It was a defining moment for their precedent to follow. From there, it was just instinctual to trust her and, if she knew anything at all in this world, it was to trust her instincts. 

So she did.

She allowed herself to open up and, in turn, she got to know about Judy's past too. They were both pretty fucked up, but they were still trying to make the best out of a bad hand. They did nothing half ass, one whole ass or nothing at all. Halfway wasn't something either of them dabbled with and it showed, a lot actually. That kind of mentality was precisely _why_ she was in this predicament. They jumped from one extreme to another and she could hardly keep track. Mental gymnastics were hard enough, but she wasn't firing on all cylinders so she couldn't afford the extra effort. It wasn't that she didn't like Judy, because, she really did, but it just got dumped on her and she answered out of pressure. 

"What are you even doing?" V stresses as she palms her eyes, applying just a bit of pressure. 

They had a dynamic, they've had it for months now, but this throws a wrench into everything she was accustomed to. She didn't want to lose this with Judy because she _was_ interested, but this all went light speed in a nanosecond. They hardly were at a place where they should be around each other more than sparingly, yet alone locked down in a small apartment in some shitty part of town. 

It was confinement and V didn't do confinement.

She was far too free and willful to be constrained like that. Moving in came with unspoken rules and obligations and she refused to give up her freedoms to satiate another. She did what she wanted when she wanted, she had no intentions to changing that. If she wanted to stay out all night getting wasted and having fun, that's what she'd fucking do. She didn't see her _own_ apartment for literal days at a time sometimes. Her life was unpredictable and chaotic and it suited her just fine.

What Judy had asked of her was to throw all this away, but for what? Domesticity? Waking up to one another every day eating some shit breakfast and drinking shit coffee? Having small talk at the table when neither of them care for the answers, but don't want to be impolite? Talking so much that they run out of things to say so they sit in silence, barely in a tolerance? To lie in bed with one another and go through the mundane motions that bring neither of them any joy anymore? Them sleeping in the same bed, but feeling worlds apart? Full of simmering anger and resentment? The list could go on and on for how this would go so wrong, but the point that still remained was a loss of her personal autonomy.

The more time she spent thinking about this, the more convinced she got that she couldn't do it. It was bad enough she had Johnny living rent free in her head round the clock, but to have someone _physically_ around her day and night would drive her insane. It would rob her of everything she was and there was so much she still needed to do. She would just tell Judy she changed her mind and that would be that. Yeah. Yeah, then they'd go back to what they were doing and it would all be fine.

"If you think she's going to keep you around after that, you're lying to yourself." Johnny chimes in, the voice coming from her left.

She doesn't have to look to know he's leaning against her window, chain smoking like usual. It was kind of his thing now and she'd just gotten used to it. Beats the shit out of him dragging her out of bed every time they want to argue.

"What would you even know about anything like this?" She snaps back, removing her hands from her face so she could look at him. "I thought we _literally_ just had that conversation?"

"You're clearly not getting the point if you're still stuck on it. Use your head."

"Gosh, I'd _love_ to, but it is occupied by a self centered prick and there just doesn't seem to be much room for me anymore."

Johnny takes a deep inhale of his cigarette before flicking it to the ground to meet her stare. "This 'prick' has more sense than you do in whatever's left in your body so you need to listen and focus on getting us out from this mess, not that your booty call is getting too clingy."

"Judy is _not_ a booty call." V defends, shifting to sit up to have more of an imposing figure. Well, as much as a topless woman can be in front of a stranger.

"Why _isn't_ she?" Johnny asks her seriously. "You've thought it yourself, you barely know the woman. Why are you jumping through the hoops to please her?"

"It isn't that simple." She responds on instinct, but, truth be told, maybe it was.

Why _wasn't_ it simple?

These were her (almost) _exact_ thoughts from earlier, but now that they're coming from Johnny, they feel... wrong. She couldn't place what about it didn't vibe, but it just wasn't the same when he said it to when she thought it. From Johnny, it sounded so _casual_ , but wasn't that what this all was really? They weren't together and, while she'd like to see what happens, it wasn't like she was locked down. This wasn't a declaration of love, not by a long shot, so why _did_ she seem to care so much?

"It _is_." He insists. "You're just making it harder for no reason. You're overthinking it to the point that even _I'm_ getting exhausted thinking about it."

"I'm not trying to lose Judy, I actually _like_ her you know." V emphasizes to try to get Johnny on the same page. "I just... I just don't know how to get out of this without hurting her."

Johnny begins to pace towards the middle of the room. It was what she herself wanted to do, but it seems like it manifested to him instead. "You know you can't win here, right? If you tell her you want out, she'll be livid that you lied to her and if you _don't_ , you'll be stuck there."

"There has to be another option." Surely those couldn't be the only outcomes. There had to be another way that didn't hurt either of them, but if it existed, she hadn't the foggiest as to what it was. 

The _only_ thing she knew for sure was that she couldn't tell her.

Judy seemed _so_ sure of what she wanted... This would devastate her if she knew how she felt. If she backed out now after having already agreed, Judy would be pissed and she could lose her. Judy made clear she was one foot out of Night City's door so something like this might just be the shove she needed to leave it behind for good. V could recall all of Judy's words and she knew that she was the sole reason Judy hadn't up and fled so that left her in a bind. On the one hand, she wanted to retain her freedom and live her life. On the other, she had a motive, a hidden one, one not formed from affection, but of value.

Perhaps for the most selfish of all reasons, V knew she still would need Judy's help so she couldn't afford to burn that bridge. 

What a bind.


End file.
